Andyouinvitedmein’s Weblog

Posts Tagged ‘Gay with conservative family and friends

I read in the newspaper about conservative churches being picketed by gay groups. I already knew that $73 million was spent on this election on the gay marriage issue. Thought: WWJD with that much money? That’s a lot of warm meals for hungry people poured down the proverbial toilet. We didn’t have that on the ballot in my state; however, if we did, and if the final tally went against my belief I know that when I got up the next day the sun would still come up and nothing would change because God is still in control. But some people forget that and forget about grace.

There are rumors of all kinds of change that might occur if the gay community got the right for same-sex marriage. One of those rumors is that “kindergarten children will be taught about same-sex marriage.” Answer: Kindergarten teachers don’t have time to teach what they have to teach, and certainly won’t take their time to teach about same-sex marriage. However, most teachers already speak to the hearts of their children and make them feel safe. These teachers will do whatever it takes to make their students feel “normal.” Last year a dear ultra-conservative Christian co-worker had a child with two moms, and she always treated those moms with dignity. So Mrs. K was teaching her students that she respected every parent as well as every child no matter what.

I would like to suggest that God’s heart breaks when we conservatives speak such harsh words about people who believe differently from us. I believe that God wonders how we can experience such grace for our lives and not turn around and hand it out to others.

And talk about the things we make up to try to win people to our side…did you ever hear “the one” about how all gay people want to corrupt our kids and make them gay? Sure you have if you attend a conservative church. Guess what…its a lie. Certainly that myth was in my mind the first time I let my daughter spend the night with a girl who was the daughter of a lesbian couple. But she came home and the only thing that she knew was that her mother (me) lived my faith.

I just want to leave you with this parting thought: 3 John 1:9-11 says: I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church. Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.

In this scripture I believe that God is warning us about gossiping in a manner that hurts people, refusing to welcome brothers, and putting people out of the church; God calls it evil. Therefore, use your words wisely, my dear conservative fellows. God loved us so much that Jesus died for us. For ALL of us.

And $73 million of walls have been built between the conservative community and the gay community. What would Jesus do? Simply read the Gospels and see what Jesus did each and every day.


2d-copy.jpgMy maternal grandparents in the mid-1940’s

I’m still a proponent of conservative Christianity, and still consider myself a conservative. But in my first years of conservatism—okay, maybe a decade or two—I took conservative Christianity a bit too far. I never got caught up in a lot of emotionalism, and my most earnest commitments were made in private just between God and me. However somewhere along the way I got into wrong thinking. I was a conservative who turned into a legalist. I can’t exactly say how I got there, I only remember the moment when it all came into the light…

That moment came in late May of 1979 when I refused to go to a dinner party where a gay guy was also going to attend (I’ll call this guy George). I can remember standing with my garbage in one hand and telling my friend Karen that it was totally against all I believed to join them for dinner with George also in attendance…by the way, God has a wonderful sense of humor, and I was the joke: The next month I changed jobs. The night before I began someone said “You know George works there.”  And wouldn’t you know that in a building that covered about ten acres, George worked right across the hall!   

Then within a year a close friend came out–he was a professional, fellow church member with a wife and kids. And in no time there was another young man—“Jake”—who had been one of my students suddenly left the church. I tracked Jake down three states away and found out he was gay. Sadly, he has never come back home. 

So, of course, I heard God and immediately changed the way I thought and acted, and all was great….NOT! 

You’d think I’d learn when one thing after another was happening like dominoes collapsing, but I’m slow. Right now I want to go back to the first time I heard about someone being gay. Realize that in my childhood days you just didn’t speak about it. So for me to hear about a minister committing suicide because he was gay would have been huge. But hearing about it when I was a little over five years old in 1959, well that was another divine moment in this journey. 

As I said earlier, I was the conservative of the Conservatives. And soon after this boom-boom-boom of learning about all my gay friends, AIDS came on the scene. I can remember standing in my living room and hearing a guy on the Today Show cry about losing 25 of his friends to the virus. I sort of snickered about his losses—totally lacking Christian love. Then after a move to a large city a couple of years later I grew to believe that AIDS was incurable and that anyone who had it deserved it.  

It wasn’t until 1992 that I got a huge wake-up call about the Church and my conservative fellows. When our landlord was dying of AIDS and doing “everything right” according to conservative church standards…the church failed to show up. What a shock for me! How could this be? I have always believed (and still do) that the church needs to be more than God’s talking head. They also need to be His arms, hands, legs and feet. They should be the first with soup as well as prayer. When the pastors and members didn’t deliver to our landlord, I was emotionally numbed, trying to absorb what had just gone down in my ‘hood.   And this was the divine moment where God had me ready to listen. A place where I could begin to learn about the true meaning of grace…. More to come about how And You Invited Me In got on the shelves and into your hands.